I hope I’ve made pretty clear that, despite all the various frustrations, having kids is pretty fun. They say a lot of goofy things. They make funny faces. They giggle a lot. They give you an excuse to play with kid toys. They think you’re the best.
But I’ve also never been one of those parents that thinks the world opened up and that I see everything with new eyes once I had kids. It was amazing when they arrived and I love them both, but I remain more or less unchanged. I have more responsibilities and my day-to-day routine is drastically different, but that’s the core of it. No lightning bolts. No essential transformation.
However… recently I found the magic.
It took a little time as it required having a second child and waiting long enough for him to “come online”, but seeing Joshua and Matthew together is something that I’ve found hits me in a different way than anything has with the either of them on their own. It’s wonderful to have Joshua come sprinting across the daycare playground to get a hug or to see Matthew smile real big just because you looked at him from across the room — but seeing Matthew at six months old already staring at his brother with tiny little hero worship is really special.
Joshua is already a very attentive older brother, running to take care of Matthew if he hears him sound a little upset. Wanting to hold Matthew’s hand as we carry him around. Bringing him toys and trying to get his attention all the time to show him things. And if Matthew looks even the slightest bit amused by a noise Joshua made, he enters full theatrical mode and will try doggedly to get his little brother to smile or laugh again.
There will no doubt be days when they’re older when I can’t get them to stop punching one another. For now, though, this is what parents are talking about when they tell everyone about how rewarding it is to have children. This is the stuff that eclipses all the tantrums and trouble as they get older and makes veteran parents gush about how “Isn’t this time of their lives so wonderful?” when they know full well that the newbie parents are dealing with what amounts to little tyrants who don’t like to sleep. Seeing such plain, uncomplicated love on little tiny faces really is something else. It’s what will stay behind when everything else fades.
Michael, It’s equally fun to watch and LISTEN to how you have grown as a parent. No doubt about it, children are magical. But being a loving, caring, hands on Daddy, is a very wonderful to see. Your children are so blessed, you are giving them the ability to experience wonder, the freedom to explore and more importantly, you are allowing them to be themselves.
I look forward to reading about Joshua and Matthew as they grow. Thank you for sharing the “Dad’s perspective”, with us all.