Bald-Faced

Sometimes I just want to stop Joshua, put my hands on his little shoulders and say “I know you are lying to me, my little friend.”

Not as if it would matter if I did. You hear all the time how innocent little children are. And it’s true. Joshua has no idea what racism is, what real avarice or malicious violence is. He also doesn’t really understand that lying is frowned upon and so he engages in it frequently and thoroughly. Oh sure, we tell him that he shouldn’t lie, but how often have you seen a three-year-old really grasp an abstract concept? Does it get more abstract than the truth?

You could argue that what I call lying is really his changing his mind after we have reached an accord, but I think you’re not giving him enough credit. I think he knows exactly how it will play out. It will go just like it did the other night.

Note: The distinction here is that a story is me making something up for Joshua. A book is just, you know, reading a book.

Daddy: Okay Joshua, go ahead and hop into bed and let’s do a story. What story should I tell you?

Joshua: I don’t want a story. I want a book.

Daddy: Don’t you want a Dinosaur Train story? That’s what you said before.

Joshua: I want to read a book.

Daddy: You agreed with Mommy earlier that since we’re going to bed late because you got to watch some of a show that we wouldn’t read a book tonight. We would do a story and then go to bed.

Joshua: I don’t want a story. I want to read a book.

Daddy: Okay, but that means we aren’t doing a story at all then. Just reading a book.

Joshua: Yeah. I won’t cry.

Daddy: Right. I’m not sure I believe you. You’re positive you want to read a book?

Joshua: Yeah.

Daddy: And you know that means no story?

Joshua: Yeah.

Daddy: Okay. Look at my face. Joshua… look at me. We will read ONE book and then LIGHTS OUT. Nothing else. What am I going to say if you ask to do a story?

Joshua: You’ll say no. And I won’t cry.

Daddy: Okay, what book do you want to read?

Joshua: Peter Pan.

Daddy: Okay.

*Daddy reads Peter Pan*

*Joshua cries when Daddy tells him no when he wants to be told a story after reading Peter Pan.*

That last part is just an asterisked line, but represented 10 minutes of time for Janelle and I as we talked him down from a ledge so he would both go to bed peaceably and quietly so as not to wake his brother sleeping in the next room.

I believe he knew exactly what was going on the whole time. He was going to tell me exactly what I wanted to hear and then see how much he could get me to bend once the time came. It’s the train barreling down the tracks that I cannot escape. I’m not out to teach him that he isn’t deserving of my trust, or of another chance. I am there to teach him that I mean what I say, though, and that’s about all you can do in this situation.

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